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Saturday
Jul092016

To Boldly Go!

I love and appreciate how learning and living NVC is an ongoing process of deepening and integrating my understanding of this profound process.

Recently I’ve been contemplating requests and realizing that requests has 2 aspects to it – the asking and the receiving – I sense that for years I’ve been sort of OK with the asking part but when it came to receiving, that’s been much more challenging for me!

This challenge with receiving has really come to the fore front of my awareness this year and one way it’s been showing up is that attendance at my NVC sessions has really decreased. Given how much I love sharing NVC, I’ve found this distressing especially as it also impacts my flow of financial resources!

Recently, with the support of my NVC women’s group SAGE (Sharing Aging Gracefully and Exuberantly!), I was able to delve more deeply into this and acknowledge that I don’t value what I have to offer! On further exploration, this relates it to a life alienating belief about not being worthy of receiving love, support, money, participants attending workshops, you name it!

And I’m celebrating that shifts are taking place! This year I’ve had a number of experiences that allowed me to begin the process of opening to receiving love, support and acknowledgment, to really let it in.

One aspect of this adventure, which some of you may know, occurred in February when I spent 2 days in a hospital in California. Since the problem related to a pre-existing condition and I live in Canada, the bills which amounted to about $24,000 US were my responsibility. Given that I didn’t have even have a small percentage of that $24000 US, I spent some time just plain freaking out!!

Thanks to NVC, after a few days and lots of empathy, I thought of a strategy – I could raise the money thru crowd sourcing. A wonderful idea no doubt AND that meant I had to ask for help, YIKES!!  

It took me several weeks to muster up the courage to create a “Go Fund Me” campaign - I felt humiliated, embarrassed and vulnerable “what would people think of me??” the jackals were saying!

Finally I did it and not only did money flow, many tears flowed as well - I got to receive support in the form of love, prayers, healing energy AND money – people actually gave me money! I cried buckets full of tears just taking in that people do love and support me even financially!

I also asked the various medical organizations, which had contributed to my care, to give me a discount. As a result I got the bills down to about $4500 US and I raised enough thru Go Fund Me to fully pay the bills – what a celebration!

It would be fun to say that was the end of story…………..well there’s more on the path to receiving love, acknowledgment and appreciation……………

I’m part of the organizing team of an annual NVC conference which takes place north of LA, I usually offer some sessions and this year, at the end of one of my sessions, when some participants came up and offered me feedback, I asked them to email it to me. One person, Dan, did this very soon after the end of the conference. When I first received it, I perused it and told myself I’d get back to it “when I have the time!”

Now, 3 months later, I read it fully and cried reading what Dan had written – I have a deep sense of being “seen for who I am” and “gotten” in a really meaningful way. And everything he said, I have been able to get that about myself which is even more profound in terms of “taking it in”.

Today I saw an old Star Trek poster reminding us to “Boldly Go” – to boldly go where we have not gone before; this was Star Trek’s challenge and now it’s my challenge to you – is there something you’re longing to receive and are you willing to boldly go where you have not gone before, make a request and open yourself to receiving?

I look forward to hearing about your adventures with this!

With love and gratitude, Anne Walton

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