Anne Walton, June 11/16
In the past week I've had 2 very powerful experiences of what a difference it makes when we feel heard - the first was an interchange I had with a health care professional. In that instance I came away with a deep desire to be heard plus a sense of regret and embarrassment that I'd not been able to access my self-empowerment which may have led to me experiencing what I was yearning for!
The other instance was in a Staples store - my attention was first directed to the sounds of very loud screams coming from within the store - I looked over and saw that a conversation was going on between the customer and what I took to be a manager. I was about to leave the store when an inner prompting encouraged me to go over and see if I could be of assistance.
The customer had come to pick up a cell phone charger she'd left there a few days before – she had called ahead and learned that it had been found. The manager said several times it wasn’t in the safe and that he couldn’t call all staff who’d been on duty to learn where it was. Each time he said this, she became more upset – her face was flushed, she was crying and speaking at a volume much greater than her usual speaking voice.
I said I'd like to help and then for while I stayed present, witnessing what was happening and giving silent empathy. After a few minutes, the manager walked away and directed a staff member to call 911.
At that moment another manager arrived with the cell phone charger in his hand. He’d heard her screams and come to help. This manager listened in way that gave her the space to express all that had happened, from time to time, I added in some empathy. It was amazing to the see the shift in her as we listened.
At one point the first manager came back and she immediately got more upset: crying and saying “you just stood there and stared at me, why didn’t you help?”. He left after a few moments and once again calmed down and spoke at a usual volume.
What was interesting to me is that she was still really upset with the 1st manager even though she now had the charger in her hand. She shared even more about how stressful her life has been lately; I was really touched by how much insight she had into herself and how triggered she’d gotten.
It was such a powerful reminder to me about what a difference we can make when we really feel heard!