I notice a tingly-ness around the edges of my eyes, the warmth of the tears running down my cheeks, a bursting sensation in my chest, a fluttering in my belly – it is summer 2004 in Calgary and it’s the first time I’ve been on the CNVC website! I’m taking in what’s written there and it’s touching my heart so deeply I’m in tears. And serendipitously it was incredibly similar to something I had written a few years previously about the kind of world we’d all like to live in.
This visit to the CNVC website came 3 years after I’d first heard of NVC. Over the course of those 3 years I’d travelled, each spring, to St Petersburg, Russia to presemt at the annual conference on Conflict Resolution. Each year someone at the conference would say something like “Anne check out NVC, you’ve got to see this guy Marshall Rosenberg in action, he’s masterful!”
My initial reaction was “well that’s not for me, it has the word violent in the name, besides I’m not violent!” Finally after the 3rd time of hearing the message, I went home and checked it out and right then and there, I vowed to myself that I would learn and teach this process.
Over the course of many months, I searched the website for opportunities to learn NVC and set my heart on attending a 9 day residential training in California. Since I didn’t have the thousands of dollars for tuition, accommodation and travel, I summoned up my courage and sent out an email to friends asking if they’d support me in learning NVC. With astonishing ease I raised about $1000 – exciting and validating yes, hardly sufficient for the 9 day training!
Undeterred, I checked further on the CNVC website and learned that Marshall was going to be in Ottawa that fall (2005) offering a 3 day training. Again serendipitously the cost of the air fare plus the training happened to be almost the exact amount I had raised! I had friends and family in Ottawa and was past due for a visit; everything was coming together!
The session with Marshall brought even more joy and commitment; I was so moved and inspired to hear his stories about his work in the Middle East, in Africa or in numerous other places on the planet. And his sense of humour, what fun!
So there I was 6 months later, standing in front of 15 people offering my first NVC workshop! The only thing that gave me the guts to stand up in front of this group of participants that day was my passion for NVC and my intense desire to connect with other NVCers in Calgary!
I was grateful for the hum of the heating system and the whir of the fridge in the kitchen next door, surely these background noises would keep participants from hearing the sound of my knees knocking, my heart beating wildly and the chatter in my mind – the voices inside my head about how I was doing it all wrong were so loud I was certain they were audible from the outside! Later when I poured over the feedback forms, the lines that popped out at me were those that reflected the jackal voices in my own head! Surely the “NVC police” would be after me any day now!
That was more than 10 years ago now and my journey with learning, teaching and living NVC has brought a depth of richness and joy to my life that I could not have imagined previously. I feel so blessed and grateful to be part of this NVC community. Thank you so very much Marshall Rosenberg for your wisdom, insight and courage! Anne Walton, CNVC Certified Trainer