NVC Conference 2019
School of Extended Learning, Santa Barbara, CA

Presenter Schedule and Topics

Friday, March 29, 2019

Subject to Change

Time                   Topic                                                                  Presenter          

7 PM                   Welcome & Introductions of Presenters            Rodger Sorrow                         

7:30 - 9:30 PM    Introduction to Nonviolent Communication        Mary Mackenzie  Auditorium
How you speak and hear others significantly impacts your joy and success in life. In this introductory session, you’ll learn the basics of NVC and gain practical tools for dealing with anger, blame and confusion, and increase compassion for self and others - while preparing a solid foundation for your participation in the NVC Conference.


Saturday, March 30, 2019

9 AM - Welcome and Appreciation Rodger Sorrow - Auditorium

9:30 - Session I

Surprising Purpose of Anger - Rodger Sorrow - Room 26
Discover what it is that makes us angry and how to reframe it in a positive constructive way.

The Zero Step - Jim and Jori Manske - Auditorium

With the Zero Step we naturally:

  • cultivate warmth toward self and other

  • recover from reactivity more easily

  • feel empathy with another person in pain

  • express honesty effectively

  • experience and convey gratitude

  • flow toward requests that address everyone's needs

Empathy? Not Empathy? - Lorraine Aguilar - Room 17
An Improv Game to Free Ourselves from Disconnecting Habits

Parenting Through a Compassionate Lens - Shoshana Wheeler - Room 13

What IS NVC ? - Jared Finkelstein - Room 15

NVC BASICS!! Introduction to the 4 step NVC process & philosophy - Tera Gardner - Room 20
Learn the simple, yet POWERFUL 4 - step process that transforms the common"default-communication" of finger pointing, fault-finding, criticizing, labeling, shaming and blaming (very DISEMPOWERING!) to instead replace it with respectful, authentic, compassionate and self responsible communication.  Beginners most  welcome!!  Note: please bring your current relationship communication challenges for material to work on in class. 

11am - Break

11:15 - Session II

Nine Skills for Navigating Conflict - Jim and Jori - Auditorium

  • Discover an effective shortcut to activating "NVC Consciousness" when you need it the most

  • Learn Skills that increase the likelihood of more connection and compassion, even in the heat of conflict

  • Create more energy to sustain yourself in the midst of conflict and enhance connection with others

Empathy Dojo:  How to Empathize vs. React Using 4 Physical Postures - Lorraine Aguilar - Rm 17

Strategies for Racial Harmony in Prison - Bonnie & David Paul - Room 18
Learn how incarcerated men and women found racial harmony, overcoming generations of prejudice and bias. This experiential workshop will invite you to practice a skill that has transformed racial relations in one of the toughest arenas: prison.

Moving From Triggers to Needs - Ariel Wrye - Room 13 Do you ever find judgmental voices taking hold?  From road-rage and politics to family challenges, instead of trying to shut them down, we will invite judgements to come out, be heard, and connect with what’s underneath those triggers and what in the world leads others to do what they do.

Self-Acceptance: Wow, I’m Glad I’m Me - Jared Finkelstein - Room 15

Exploring Power & Privilege: Unpacking the Layers of Discrimination - Mary Mackenzie and
Cory Tyler - Room 16 
We will offer a frame for understanding the varying layers of privilege and how they affect our life experiences. We will begin with a short and compelling video by Civil Rights Leader Kimberle’ Crenshaw who coined the term intersectionality. And, together, we’ll raise our awareness and support greater compassion for ourselves and others.

12:45 - Lunch -

1:45 - Session III

Let’s Talk Sex - Rodger Sorrow - Room 26
Sex is a wonderful, beautiful, passionate, sacred part of life.  Transform the limiting beliefs we have that prevent us from being able to communicate our feelings, needs, make requests and hear or say “No”.  

Anger, My Child’s and My Own - Shoshana Wheeler - Auditorium

Calming the Brain Under Stress - Ariel Wrye - Room 13.  Many of our deepest challenges around conflict have more to do with the state of the nervous system than with our consciousness.  This workshop makes sense of what happens to our brains when we get “dysregulated”, and shares strategies to help get our brains back on track.

12 Easy Steps for Creating a Vibrant Workshop Outline - Mary Mackenzie - Room 16

Storytelling Beyond the Hero - Craig Chalquist - Room 18.  What models do we have besides the forceful Hero for solving problems? Let’s glance together at some folklore, including myths and fairy tales, to see what’s available—and why storytelling is often more powerful for change than debates, data, or admonition.

3:15 - Celebration Harvest - Rodger Sorrow - Auditorium

4 PM Good Bye - See You Tomorrow  


Sunday, March 31, 2019

Time     Topic             Presenter

9  AM    Opening: Today’s Sessions Are Announced             Rodger Sorrow - Auditorium

9:30      Session I

Vortex of Submission - Jim and Jori Manske - Auditorium
Tired of the power struggles, caving in, or giving up on the relationship? Become aware of the mostly unconscious ways we perpetuate this widespread pattern of power imbalances, for:

  • making choices in harmony with your values

  • balancing autonomy and interdependence

  • releasing resentment

  • nurturing connection and trust

He’s Perfect The Way He Is, and So Is She; relationship through a compassionate lens –
Shoshana Wheeler - Room 13

A Simple Tool for Speaking Honestly and Constructively at Work - Lorraine Aguilar - 17

Communicating with the Source of Healing - Jim Kwako, M.D. - Room 26
The Source of healing is the essential nature of our inner purpose and power. From this Source we are infused with sacred skills for confronting the challenges of our lives, and we can draw upon the energies of understanding, kindness, gentleness, compassion, courage and self-control. With these skills we  heal unresolved issues of the past, challenging relationships of the present and fears of the future. As we learn how to be honest with ourselves, we gain awareness of our true nature and we awaken our primary missions of service to others as well as the spiritual strengths to fulfill them.

Healing, Mourning & Reconciliation - Jared Finkelstein - Room 15

4 Key Questions to Make Sense of Behavior and Figure Out How to Respond - Ariel Wrye - Room 16 - Grounded in an understanding of the impact of development, regulation, trauma, and needs, this session will share four lenses through which we can view any challenge that can drastically increase the clarity with which we respond to ourselves and others.  

11am    Break                                                                                            

11:15    Session II                                                                                     

Where the Rubber Meets the Road: NVC & Forgiveness in Prison - Bonnie & David Paul - Room 18 - Learn how inmates in prisons put their NVC skills to the test and find inner (and often outer) freedom in extremely challenging circumstances. Videos of inmate stories will set the stage for an engaging experiential workshop where you will practice a crucial skill for any relationship:  choosing peace over anger.

From Now On: 3 Strategies to Integrate NVC - Jim and Jori - Room 17
An interactive session for increasing the quality of your life by creating strategies for:

  1. supporting your commitment to learning, doing and being NVC

  2. having a supportive community for learning and growth

  3. creating your individually crafted practice for deepening your skill level

Restorative Dialogues & Circles for parents and teachers - Shoshana Wheeler - Room 13

Requests: The Unsung Hero to Improving Relationships - Mary Mackenzie - Room Auditorium
In support of harmony, we often make requests that are comfortable for us but don’t meet our needs.  Unfortunately, this doesn’t work. To experience true harmony, we must become skilled at speaking up for ourselves in ways others can hear. You’ll receive a framework for doing so with time to practice.

NVC in Intergenerational Settings - Jared Finkelstein - 15

Writing for Self Care - Lalli Dana Drobny - Room 16
Playing with words - our own and some from wise, wonderful poets - we’ll explore how to honor
and integrate voices of different parts of our self.  Breathing into and listening to feelings and
needs of our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual bodies, we create and nurture a
collaborative field for greater understanding, connection, and self-empathy.

12:45  Lunch - (Living and Sharing NVC Community)  Rodger Sorrow - Room 26

1:45      Session III                                                                                     

Sharing NVC with Games - Rodger Sorrow -
We will play and have fun while learning nonviolent communication.

NVC Sing Along + Dance Along - Lorraine Aguilar

Building Resiliency-empathy for change makers, teachers, healers, and other humans - Ariel Wrye - Room 13. For those invested in work for healing and justice, this session provides critical space to reflect on our own needs, connect with what’s alive in us now, and nurture the spirit that keeps us going.

Metta Meditation - PRACTICING a Practice Some Researchers Claim Can Decrease Implicit Racial Bias- in 7 minutes - Lalli Dana Drobny - Room 16.   Mostly, we will experience this ancient practice of Metta Meditation (loving kindness) - nurturing compassionate giving/receiving through mindful wondering and well-wishing.  We'll also take a short peek at how brain science (partly) explains the power of this
simple, powerful process.

3:15   Break                                                                                            

3:30  Closing Session, harvest learning and celebrate - Rodger Sorrow - Auditorium

4 PM  Good Bye & Hugs